CoLu Week 2015
by im ur misconception
Summary: Ask b4 putting in any C2s. Reposting these back up on FFN. I believe this was an original brain baby by GemNika and either Leoslady4ever or Little Princess Nana. Either way, this Cobra and Lucy-ccentric for the week. Read and enjoy.
1. Language

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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When his guild arrived for their monthly visit to Fairy Tail, he had not expected to walk through the swinging doors to the chaos before him. No, he expected a full-out brawl, or Natsu jumping at him demanding they fight. Not the sight on Fairy Tails own Celestial Mage sitting on her best friends back, slamming the Fire Dragon Slayers face into the wooden floor while the rest of the guild stayed back, silent and watching. Or the fact that every word she seemed to speak came out funny. Oh, no, Cobra had no idea what to make of the whole situation.

Though from the thoughts flying around the busty blonde's head, he was glad he was not Natsu at that moment. Giving him an idea of what the hell the pink haired idiot had done this time along with several cringe-worthy images of what she wanted to do with the boy. And as comical as it was, Cobra decided that the silence that was coming from the rest of the guild was an excellent way to go. Especially with some of the thoughts that were racing through all of their minds. Slowly, and as quietly as possible, Cobra sidestepped, waving a hand to the rest of his independent guild to keep quiet as they entered.

He was pretty sure that they would enjoy the show until they were noticed, preferably after the incensed blond got everything out of her system. Not that he blamed her as he finally pieced everything together. Natsu had found (apparently another) old piece of paper with strange words on it. And had shown it to Lucy, (again) and read what was on it — causing the magic imbued in the piece of paper to activate, thus causing her to speak every single word backward though he had to agree with her mental rant that at least it was not body swapping again.

"ToidI, Tahw erew uoy gnikniht!" she screeched as she let go of his hair.

Cobra wanted to go over and poke Natsu to see if he could get a reaction. Cause there was a beautiful face shaped indent in the wooden floor where he had been smashed repeatedly. A smile was curling his lips as his amethyst eyes caught bright cinnamon-brown eyes, that narrowed on him.

Cobra, hello! Sorry, I am a bit inconvenienced at the moment "Arboc, olleh! Yrros I ma a tib decneinevnocni ta eht tnemom," She said to him.

Knowing exactly what she was saying, he nodded his head. Motioning for her to finish what she as doing as the annoying blue fuzzball that was Natsu's exceed flew down and landed by his friend's body. Tears that he knew were crocodile tears, as he patted the unconscious pinkette's head whimpering about how cruel Lucy was, all the while mentally laughing at him. Two-faced little bastard.

When he felt a hand on his arm, Cobra looked down to see Lucy smiling warmly up at him. In her other hand were a pen and paper. Shaking his head, he leaned down and whispered to her.

"I can hear your soul, and it speaks perfectly, you don't need that shit, bright eyes."

The way her eyes lit up at what he said, she relaxed and motioned for him to follow her to their regular table, that he shared with the rest of his guild, sans their leader. Who had already sidled up to the Hammer wielding, psychotic Red-head.

"So, he was an obtuse brat again. Do you want me to help figure out how to reverse this?" he asked. Getting a soft ringing from Lucy's soul that let him know she would appreciate it.


	2. Caged

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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When they had agreed on a joint mission between Fairy Tail and Crime Sorciere, this was not what was expected. Though it was for a good cause, and she still was trying to figure out how it dealt with a Dark Guild, Lucy put on a sad looking face as she looked out the makeshift cage that was suspended above the stage while the rest of her team and Crime Sorciere were acting out a battle of epic proportions, sans magic, below her. A fight to win and save the princess.

The irony of it all was that her guildmates were the villains and Crime Sorciere were the good guys. It had her laughing internally, along with the dialog that Cobra was spewing. Which was making it hard to look tragic?

"Dammit Cobra... Can it!" she thought back to him.

"But Bright Eyes, I can hear how much you like my inner commentary to this Bullshit!" he said back.

Looking down she caught his single amethyst eye staring at her and sparkling like the jewel it resembled. A quick, subtle roll of her eyes as the cage began to sway. It caused Lucy to grip the bars a bit tighter. Eyes darting to the lever that operated the crane that cage. To see that Natsu had been knocked into it Frowning as he stood up and bellowed something before rushing back into the fray. Something she knew in the damned script they were performing for a Nobles daughter.

Groaning as she spoke to Cobra, "Can you politely knock him out. I do not want this rickety prop I am held captive in to fall and squish me."

The laugh she received told her that he would comply. It is making her glad that there was at least one person down there that was willing to do this right. Though she was starting to question why she had to be in the damn thing instead of Meredy or Sorano? Hell, the latter had the arrogant attitude of a spoiled princess and loved to wear the feathered covered cloaks. Making her mind jump to the conclusion she could be the swan princess on fucking hormones and crack. As she pictured it in vivid color. Sorano dolled up in heavy stage makeup like some whore, her costume form fitting as she squeaked and flapped her feathery cape, dancing like an insane person.

The loud bellow of a laugh had Lucy looking down to see Cobra doubling over laughing, while Natsu was laid out cold at his feet. Tilting her head to the side to look at Cobra, as everything on the stage, except for his laughter, went quiet. Then it dawned on her that he had not only heard her inner dialog but the image. Causing heat to bloom in Lucy's face as she looked anywhere but down because it was safest that she was in the cage at that moment.


	3. Fairy Tail

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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"Mama, Papa!" A small voice yelled through the house. Drawing the two occupants in the kitchen's attention as a little bundle of energy burst through the door.

Both adults waited until the child had calmed and caught their breath — one asking if the other knew what was on their child's mind this time. Only to get a small shake of their head, because the child's mind and soul were unfocused and jumbled.

"I heard that you two had a Fairy Tale romance and a Fairy Tail type of wedding. Tell ME!"

At the plaintive wail from the child, both gave the other a look, before a sigh escaped from one as they bent over in the chair and picked up the little girl and placed them on their lap. Just to get a delighted squeal, further hurting their ears, at being put there.

"Letha, you need to calm and focus before I will tell you," he said, his amethyst eye holding the matching ones staring up at him widely.

When the girl quieted, doing her best to focus, so he could hear what her soul was saying. He grinned, silently telling his mate that he was going to kill her best friend, as he rubbed his daughter's blond hair. The images that his innocent six-year-old was conjuring was something he didn't think she needed to know at that age.

"Now, listen closely, your mother and I were not always in love. It took a lot of hard work. The Fairy Tale you have been told was a much nicer version of it," he stated carefully to his little girl. Listening closely as she did what her mother did, break it down, analyze it and put it in a way that made sense to her.

The moment she had her little epiphany, he waited, noticing the small smile on his mates lips, as she tried to hide it behind her coffee cup.

"You and mommy hated each other?" Letha asked.

"We didn't hate each other; we just didn't see eye to eye. And it took over nine years before we could. Then we fell in love sweetie," he said. Again listening as she broke it down and put it in back in order again.

"Oh, so you didn't have a Fairy Tale romance?" she asked.

"We did, but only after we got to know each other. You know, as you did with Jayvyn, Mister Sting, and Auntie Erza's son," he stated. Watching as his daughter made her 'icky' face at the mention of his godson's name.

Puffing up and preening at his daughter's reaction until he felt a sharp kick under the table to his shin. Getting the message quickly, he focused back on his daughter, who was looking at him curiously.

"So... where does the Fairy Tale come from?" She asked, her eyes narrowing as he heard a tantrum born of disappointment building in her soul.

"Ah, now don't laugh. But your mommy saved Daddy from a bad place he got into, sweetie. She was your Daddy's princess in shining armor, come to rescue the enslaved and tortured prince," he said, doing his best not to bust out laughing at the imagery his mate conjured to his words. Silently telling her, they'd have a talk about him wearing a frilly, puffy, pink dress with enough sequins that he looked like a faux pas, in bad taste, disco ball.

"Oh, wow! But Daddy you are so strong! How did you get caught and put in a bad place?" Letha asked.

Sighing at this, he was not sure how to explain to his daughter that he had done it to himself. All the guilt that had built up over the years just crashing down at once.

"Letha, sometimes it isn't a who, but a what that does it. Remember when you knew you had lied to me. How you felt before you came and told me what you had done?" His mate spoke up.

The way his daughters face morphed into a sad mask of understanding, he knew she got it. Then he was being hugged tightly as his little girl mumbled sorry into his neck. She was making him glad that he had been saved.

"As for a Fairy Tail Wedding, that was something that involved a lot of partying, people, and antics that got out of hand. You know, like what happens at the guild all time," he said.

The moment he felt his daughter shaking as she continued to hug him, he knew she was laughing silently.

"Now that I have answered your question, wanna tell me why Uncle Natsu was telling you about our romance?" he asked.

His daughter pulled back, flashing a fanged grin at him. "Oh, because Auntie Minerva was threatening him again, because he hadn't mated her and given her a Fairy Tale Wedding, yet! Though I do love my cousin Astrid! She is so tiny but so pretty with her little hands and dark blue eyes like Auntie Minerva!"

At her comment, he had to smother his laughter, as his mate choked on her coffee. It had been a long talked about topic. That Natsu had fallen head over heels for the Territorial Space Mage after she had apologized to Lucy for her antics all those years ago. They had a daughter already, with another one on the way. And yet, Natsu, In all his dense glory, had not marked her as his again. But there was no doubt the Dragon Slayer would move the earth for her if she asked it. That was the accurate Fairy Tale of Fairy Tail.


	4. Glitter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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It was sound reasoning; he couldn't deny that. But it was so fucking far out there that he thought the blond Fairy had gone beyond batshit crazy right into the Twilight Zone cannot touch this shits crazy. And as he continued to listen in on her thoughts, he wondered just how the fuck she came up with that damn idea.

"Loads of Alcohol with Cana, then a sugar high from hell with Erza, and late nights of no sleep while talking theology with Levy and Freed."

Blinking his single eye at what was said, Cobra met the warm chocolate gaze of Lucy. Who was smiling at him, not bothering even to try to hide her amusement as he realized that he had spoken his thoughts aloud? He was pretty sure he had not.

"No, you did. And that is my explanation, and I am sticking to it Prickle Puss," Lucy said as she chuckled before getting lost in her thoughts again.

Shaking his head, Cobra didn't even want to begin to pick apart what she was running through her mind and how to get it to work. He pitied the poor sap that she roped into helping her pull this off if she could. Though he didn't deny that whether it worked or not would be epic. And he didn't want to be anywhere nearby when it happened. That shit was insidious and evil. Hard to remove and get rid of. He knew from a random interaction that almost had him poisoning a whole fucking village because of a single child dropping a canister of the stuff.

"Hey, Cobra! Earthland to Cobra!"

At the shout from Lucy, he let a small shudder run through his body before looking at her and shaking his head no to the unasked question and getting the blond to pout at him, crossing her arms under her breast and giving him a magnificent view of them.

"Sorry Glamerella, not happening. That stuff is the devil's tool. I would rather fight all the demons of Tartaros, naked and magicless than help you do that," he stated.

The image she conjured in her head at what he just said had him wanting to strangle her though it was hard not to laugh at it all, as he shook his head and walked away from her.

"You can find some other idiot to help you launch a glitter bomb into space, with laser lights to try and map the furthest reaches in search of new celestial spirits," he interjected before she could open her mouth and spew the crazy and infect him verbally.

The loud huff, accompanied by the rather rude retort had him laughing mentally. But Lucy's theory on using Glitter and lasers to search space had him curious. And Cobra knew he'd be stewing on the idea like a fucking obsessed bastard until he eventually gave in to the blonds whims.

[This was based on something a friend mentioned, and I googled and found its a legit thing (kinda) that Nasa is doing. Here is the link... (remove the spaces) .gov/jpl/tech/glitter-cloud-may-serve-as-space-mirror]


	5. Rumors

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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She was not happy. Nope. Not. At. All. There had been a buzz going around Magnolia about something. And she had just found out what it was after walking into the grocery store. Her eyes narrowed as she glared darkly at the clerk behind the counter while they rang up her stuff. The person had the decency to look ashamed. Since she had overheard the woman gossiping about the 'big' buzz to the previous customer and had not noticed Lucy standing there waiting to be rung up.

When she had lived with her dad in High Society she had come to hate the Rumor Mill. Since it was the only thing the wives and daughters of the wealthy did. Talk about menial gossip that was mostly unfounded or totally blown out of proportion. It was absolutely disgusting. And this time the stupid rumors flying around where hitting a bit close to home. One of her own friends. Albeit that person was trying to reform themselves and were a lot more sensitive than most thought, considering their very calloused exterior.

When the woman handed her her change back, Lucy sniffed disdainfully, looking down her nose at the woman. Not hiding her disgust by using a tactic that Nobles applied to those they thought underneath themselves. At this moment, the woman who she normally was chatty with deserved it. And from the look on her face, the woman knew it as well.

"Have a good day. And please think about what you are saying and spreading around because it can come back to bite you in the ass, ma'am," Lucy snapped as she gathered up her bag and stormed out of the establishment.

The horrified look on the poor woman's face gave Lucy a small bit of pleasure. Silently she hoped the woman would try to stop the rumor from spreading and getting worse. Then again, the woman catered to Fairy Tail mages for their shopping. And once the rest of the guild got wind of her helping spread the verbal sewage of tittle-tattle, she would lose business for a while. Which was bad for her since she was a small, private business owner.

Marching down the street, Lucy began to think of how such hearsay could have started. Her mind so focused on figuring out the origins, she bumped into someone who caught her before she could fall on the ground and spill her supplies. Looking up, she smiled darkly at the one person she knew could help her quell the rumors. A person who loved Gossip as much as the next person, but didn't like it being spread when there were no facts going around.

"Lucy? Why are you smiling at me like that?" MiraJane asked, leaning away from Lucy.

"Oh! Sorry, Mira. But if anyone can help a friend, I know it is you!" Lucy said sweetly.

The way the woman's eyes shot open wide and her face became a serious mask, Lucy knew that she had Mira on her side.

"What is wrong? Who am I helping?" Mira asked her rapidly, guiding Lucy towards her house.

"Cobra," was all she said, noticing that Mira's hands gripped her harder. "I just came from our usual store and overheard some degrading and untrue gossip from the lips of the customers. About how he was a blight on magnolia's society. And that as a murderer and other such dark things involving children can never be reformed."

The way Mira cleared her throat sent a chill down Lucy's spine. There was no mistaking that dark aura that popped up around the woman. The whole guild knew what kind of person Cobra was in the past. Murder was a thing he admitted too, but that was because he was forced to do it under Brain. He was being honest when he said he didn't like taking another life. Hell, seeing him around Asuka was cute as fuck. He was soft on all children. And due to his past could never bring himself to harm one, even if he was severely punished for it.

"Well, tell me what you want me to do, because that has to be stopped," Mira said in a sing-song voice that was sickeningly sweet.

Grinning up at the Silver-haired woman, Lucy felt a small brush against her mind. She knew it was the person in question and he was curious about her current mood. So, quickly she told him she was fine, just upset, Lucy clamped down on her thoughts so he couldn't hear them in her soul. She would go to any length to protect him. More-so after he attempted to debase himself in apology to her.

"I think Mira, that you should find the root of the rumor. And well, bring them to the guild for a wonderful little Tete-a-Tete with everyone there. Especially Asuka! You know how that girl loves her uncle Coby," Lucy whispered to the take-over mage.

The dark grin of delight that spread across her friends face made Lucy glad she was not on the receiving end of whatever demonic discussion was going on MiraJanes head. Because that was a less than pleasant experience she had one time.

"I can do that. You go on up to that darling man, cook him that dinner I know you are planning. And I will get back to you on this matter at a later date," Mira said, pushing her towards her door stope.

Smiling as she watched Mira practically skip down the street, Lucy shook her head and entered her landlady's house and made her way up the stairs to her apartment. Glad that she had friends like she did, who cared about the people she cared about.


	6. Family

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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There were some things in life a person never expected to happen. And for the two who were now staring down at the six little faces of their friends, they were sure of one thing; their family was beyond help. A dark mages spell had backfired, in the literal sense. It was meant to make things tiny. But instead, it had aged six of the seven Dragon Slayers. They are turning the adults, and one teenager, into children no older than six.

Neither was quite sure how to handle the situation because they'd been doing recon, gathering information on said Dark Mage. Who had gotten the drop on the other six, probably because a few of them were fighting? It was unsure at the moment as both Cobra and Lucy stared down at the innocent appearing faces, as all six sat on the Dark Mage, who was currently unconscious while they waited for the Rune Knights to arrive and cart the man off.

"So, how do you wanna explain this when the white stick pricks get here?" Cobra drawled, as he tried not to laugh at the glares he was getting.

"Say we decided to get practical skills in parenting?" Lucy deadpanned, as she glared down at the sextuplets.

The comprehensive look of horror on all of their faces, but Wendy's was utterly comical and had both of them grinning like mad. Low rumbling chuckles were escaping Cobra as he mulled over the idea.

"It could work. Or we can just hand the brats over the Rune Knights, sans the girl," he said shrugging. Enjoying the horrifying thoughts running through their little heads. "Say that the Dark Mage was trying to clone the Dragon Slayers, and the little shits seem unstable mentally... with little to no control over their emotions and magic."

When five of the six faces turned to Lucy, she pretended to ponder the idea. It was very pleasing since they'd brought this all upon themselves. She cared deeply for every last one of the Dragon Slayers; they were a part of her family. But their constant bickering, need to prove themselves, and destruction in their wake was tiring.

"Luce!" Natsu shouted in horror.

"Blondie!" Laxus and Sting practically yelled.

"Miss Heartfilia!" Rogue said politely.

"Lucy, your teasing, right?" Wendy asked.

Letting a small smile play across her lips, she looked at Cobra, having a quick and silent conversation. Only to have him snort rudely just as the Rune Knights arrived. Lahar in the lead, looking around for any significant damages to charge Fairy Tail and Sabertooth. His jaw going slack at the sight of the mini-look-alikes of the Dragon Slayers. He didn't even try to hide the horror on his face. While Doranbolt burst out laughing hysterically while giving a look of pure adoration at Wendy.

"Care to explain, Miss Heartfilia?" Lahar commanded.

Arching an eyebrow at the Captain of the Enforcement Squad, Lucy frowned. "Of course, since this mess is all your damn fault Captain."

At her words, the man jerked back as if she had struck him.

"And just how do you come to that conclusion." He stated, not asked.

"Because it was you and the Magic Council that asked for all the Dragon Slayers, with me in tow, to do this mission because of the nature of the Dark Mage. Which you can see was apprehended, but not before he messed up his Magic Spell," she said with a feral grin on her lips.

The man opened his mouth to speak only to be silenced by Cobra speaking up, "What did you expect going to happen, Captain? Other than the hopes of mass property damage to the surrounding local wildlife you could charge us for? Oh, sorry, I shouldn't be telling your inner thoughts."

Both seeing how rapidly Lahar's face paled at what was said helped put another nail in his coffin.

"Well, now that the cat is out of the bag. How is the Magic Council going to repay us? I mean think of the mental and emotional damage a spell like this has done to these poor Dragon Slayers! I mean being regressed to the age of kindergartners. Having to relearn how to master their magic, which is uncontrollable due to their age and it's power? Are they going to go through puberty again? Think of the extenuating damages that it will cost to those of our guilds and the citizens of the cities that house our guilds," Lucy whined, not having to act at the mere thought of it all.

"I... I... just a second... let me contact the Magic Council and explain everything and see what can be done. Do you know how long this spell will last? Or are you going with the worst case scenario?" Lahar said, his face pinching up and looking like he was constipated.

The dead look both gave the man all the answer he needed as he walked away, pulling out a communication Lacrima to make the call. Doranbolt was still laughing, now kneeling on the ground, gasping for air between large gawf's.

"Damn, blondie, I didn't think you could be so evil. Remind me not to get on your bad side once we are back at the guild," Laxus said, his stormy blue-gray eyes regarding her with a wariness that pleased her.

"Oh, don't forget this, ever. Any of you! I do this because you are my friends and family. Cobra agrees that it'd be fun to let them have you, but I'd miss you all too much," She said, crouching down to their level. "And until this spell wears off, you all are my little minions, got it! If you don't, I will let Virgo and Aquarius have at your for shits and giggles you little fucktards."

Cobra chose to pipe up, "Excluding Wendy. She is always so well behaved."

At that Lucy nodded to the male Slayers, who just stared scared shitless at the threat. Only to run at Lucy throwing their little arms around her, crying that they'd be good and listen like angels. Earning a hug back from her as she looked accusingly at Lahar who had returned — knowing from the look on his face that Master would be pleased with this outcome. Fairy Tail did anything and everything for their family.


	7. Journey

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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It had been a long, arduous road to get to where they both were. Having to overcome damn near surmountable obstacles from both their past. But here they were, smiling happily at each other, with all their friends and family looking on. And at the onset of this excursion neither had thought that they'd be where they were at that moment. Not that they were complaining.

"Do you Cobra... I mean Erik, take Lucy Heartfilia to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Master Makarov asked.

"I do," he said with pride in his single amethyst eye.

"And do you, Lucy Heartfilia, take Erik to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Makarov asked her.

With a blinding smile that put the setting sun to shame, she practically shouted, "I do!"

The slight chuckle from those gathered around them, made them both smile larger.

"Than by the power vested in me as Guild Master of Fairy Tail, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss each other!" Makarov said stepping back from the two.

Before Cobra could act, he was jerked downwards, his now wife's lips slamming almost painfully against his. Causing him to chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her slender frame and lifting her up, so only her toes were touching the ground as he deepened it. Enjoying the way her body softened and molded to his own.

"Uh... if you two are finished," Makarov said, causing both to flush and break the kiss.

"Everyone I want you all to meet Erik and Lucy Heartfilia, newly married and proud Fairy Tail members," Makarov bellowed. "NOW LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

The loud whoop that went up around them, followed by several loud roars from the Dragon Slayers, sending an explosion of their magic bursting in the air above them, signaling that the wedding was done. It was perfect and totally fitting to them both as they turned and looked out at the sea of faces that had touched each of their lives. Had helped them, or screwed them over depending on which one of them you asked, stared back elated.

Soon though those gathered dispersed to party across the large property that had once been the Heartfilia Kozen. Now home for Lucy and Cobra, courtesy of the Royal Family of Fiore. OF course, the use of this land came with the promise that certain mages would restore it after the hoop-la as Lahar had told them was done.

Hand in hand Lucy and Cobra walked to the area designated for Dancing, each knowing that at some point a fire would be started, ice would cover something as the resident Strippers ended up looking for their clothes, while the perverts openly ogled the women who wore next to nothing. It was perfect as they swung out onto the dance floor, absorbed in the eyes of the other.

"I love you Bright Eyes. Thank you for saving me a few years ago," Cobra whispered to her.

She smiled up at him as she replied, "No problem morning breath, I wouldn't change anything on our journey to this point. So, how do you feel about having a baby?"

The way Cobra tripped over his feet as silence descended upon those nearest as an earthquake shook the ground from Jura falling over from shock, as a small area near the impromptu dance floor exploded as Gildarts did the same, had Lucy laughing.


End file.
